They have fought in cyberspace and over the airwaves, denigrating each other as unworthy of the job. Their supporters have cursed, punched, and sometimes shot at each other, breaking every rule in the game.

This week though, ordinary Ugandans will decide just who among the gang of presidential wannabes is worthy of going to State House, and for another five years vanquish the dogs of war.

Our advice to the Ugandan wananchi is, make it peaceful, folks.

SOUTH AFRICAN scientists said recently that some17th century clay pipes found near Shakespeare’s home contained a hallucinogenic substance and some others may have been used to smoke marijuana. The scientists speculate that the use of drugs in Shakespeare’s time may have inspired his Sonnet 76, in which he refers to a "noted weed" and "compounds strange." Two of the pipe samples also had traces of cocaine.

The bard may, after all, have had a little help writing those plays and sonnets.

FORGET CINDERELLA; modern fairy tales are, well, so much richer. Like that of a northern California woman who bought a $5 lottery ticket, and then went back to the drudgery of her daily domestic chores.

Last week, she learnt that she was the winner of an $89 million jackpot.

TALKING OF money, a German tourist visiting the Kenyan coastal city of Mombasa recently gave the workers at the hotel he was staying in a tip of Ksh795,000 ($10,000).

It is probably the biggest tip ever given in Kenya, and the hotel's workers, in true Kenyan spirit, are already fighting over it.

ALLIANCE HIGH School, easily one of East Africa's most prestigious, recently celebrated its 75th anniversary.

Few people know it, but the Alliance, an exclusive boys' school, has at least one odd "old boy": Ms Margaret Kenyatta, daughter of Kenya's founding father, Jomo Kenyatta.

She studied at the school before independence during a brief co-ed experiment.

THE UNITED Nations chief demographer, Mr Joseph Chamie, recently came up with interesting projections for the global population in 2050.

One African and five Asian nations, namely China, Nigeria, Indonesia, India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, he said, will then account for half of the world's population.

A KENYAN who, three years ago stole Ksh54 million (then about $1 million) from a strong room at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, last week received a slap on the wrist, being jailed for just three years.

That's just about the same term, to put it in perspective, that some Kenyan magistrates give poor sods who make away with a neighbour's chicken.

IT WAS intriguing to read the effusive praise heaped upon the late Ambrose Adongo, secretary general of the Kenya National Union of Teachers, in the Kenyan press last week.

A few years ago, when Adongo sang a cheeky praise song to President Daniel arap Moi, journalists and politicians lined up to deride him as a sycophant.

The phrase "crocodile tears," comes to mind.