THE MORE things change, the more they remain the same. Last week, African nations ganged up to have Sudan re-elected to the United Nations Human Rights Commission, despite the fact that militias allied to the Khartoum government have precipitated a humanitarian crisis for millions in the country's Darfur region. Also elected to the Commission were Togo and Guinea, both considered to be ruled by repressive regimes, and Kenya.

FOOTBALL STAR David Beckham earns $26.8 million per year, according to France-Football magazine's annual list. Other top earners in the beautiful game are Brazil's Ronaldo ($19.7 million), and French star Zinedine Zidane ($16.7 million). Wrote France-Football: "The gap is growing in an irreversible manner between the 'top', those whose image and talent help the sale of T-shirts, season tickets and derivative products, and the others, who occasionally give the impression of being there because you need 11 players in the field and a couple others on the bench." Ouch! 

TANZANIAN ZAMEER Mohamed, 23, was so angry with his ex-girlfriend for conning him out of $4,000 that he decided to have her locked up -on terrorism charges. According to American authorities, Mohammed, then resident in Canada, called the FBI and gave them an anonymous "tip" that his former lover and three others were planning an outrage in Los Angeles. The "tip" led to a massive manhunt in the US and Canada. Mohammed will probably come to rue the day he thought of the revenge plan - he now faces 10 years in jail for starting the wild goose chase.

BMW DRIVERS have more sex than owners of any other cars, a new German car magazine claimed last week. In its inaugural May issue the magazine, Men's Car, says that a survey of 2,253 motorists aged 20 to 50 had established that male BMW drivers had sex on average 2.2 times each week, while Porsche drivers had sex 1.4 times per week. Following BMW drivers were Audi (2.1), Volkswagen (1.9), Ford (1.7) and Mercedes (1.6). What about us poor Africans, who walk everywhere? How did we ever come to have a population problem?

ALL DEATHS are regrettable, but some people seem to ask for it. Like the two men in Central Kenya who last week went on a  drinking spree, forgetting that they had to do a tightrope act on a log across a swollen river to get back home. Both, inevitably, were swept to their deaths by the swirling waters. 

The dilemma faced by the police, spokesman Assuman Mugenyi says, is that though cannibalism is repugnant to society, there are no specific laws that deal with the problem. "There is no law against cannibalism in Uganda," Mr Mugenyi said. "In effect, if you find human flesh in a supermarket, you are free to buy it."

The police are now considering charging the three suspects with trespass, or illegally exhuming bodies.

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